


# Ideas I have for The Hobbit Series #

by TheDwobbitKai



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29931663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDwobbitKai/pseuds/TheDwobbitKai
Summary: This is literally a place to put all my Hobbit Story Ideas, peeps. You can all also use these ideas if you want to, just credit me for it all, and put down in the comment section the stories.Also, 1 last thing:YOU ALL HAVE MY PERMISSION TO USE THESE IDEAS!AS LONG AS YOU CREDIT ME FOR THE ORIGINAL I DON'T CARE!JUST LINK ME YOUR STORIES PLEASE BECAuse I would genuinely love to read them, k? :)
Kudos: 5





	# Ideas I have for The Hobbit Series #

**Author's Note:**

> I personally headcanon Bilbo's name actually being Bîlbä {beel-buh}, but Men mispronounce it as Bilbo due to how feminine it sounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: If you want, check the bottom of the chapter, and End Notes.

**Idea # 1** \- It is literally impossible to poison a Hobbit with anything less than a _Morgul Blade_ —and even then, only due to the inherent evil within a Morgul Weapon. 

Most Hobbits don't know this* until Belladonna Tûk comes back from her First Adventure with Gandalf and tells everyone. Thing is, is that the reason why Hobbits can't be poisoned is because of Hobbit Metabolism; a Hobbits' metabolism works so fast that the poison is automatically sweated out of their bodies only a few moments after they ingest it. 

This is why Hobbits eat so damn much - their metabolism literally converts their food to calories _as_ they eat. This also has the added effect of Hobbits having frankly _ungodly_ amounts of stamina and energy, and being walking furnaces as well as being little walls of pure, dense, lean muscle under the extra fat they've managed to accumulate by eating the equivalent of _30-35 Royal Feasts_ 7-9 times a day. (This also means that Hobbits are deceptively strong - strong enough to, in fact, be able to bench press a half-grown Tröll, and punt an Ölíphâunt a decent distance of 20 meters.) 

Time-skip to  The Night of Dwarves  ; Bilbo's trying _So Damn_ **_Hard_ ** to make sure these **_Stupid_ ** _Dwarves_ don't get themselves _killed_ eating his food because all of his pantries are filled with all kinds of _Hobbit_ foods, which includes natural poisons - like wild mushrooms, and not fully ripe rhubarb vegetable pies/jams and/or elderberry _tea_ _leaves_. 

______

*[Extended with Worldbuilding and a Side of Hobbit Culture Headcanons **(Optional)** : 

\- **Hobbits** never knew this until a Man nearly died due to being given Belladonna Tea, by a Hobbit who would later be identified as a Tûk - Tûcc'Ganír [ * ](https://www.britannica.com/topic/buccaneer) , way back when - who was only saved due to the quick actions of an Elf back in the First Age. Needless to say, the Elves were _very_ shocked at finding out about Hobbit Poison Immunity. 

\- **Later** on after that, all the Hobbits learned medicine from the Elves. Eventually, Marigold - a Hobbit lass, and Healer in training - fell for a Noldor Elf named Glórvinþíl, who returned her regard. 

\- **After** dosing him with a strong sleeping agent, she kidnapped him and traveled all the way back to her family - with him unconscious - earning her the title _Tûcc'Ganír_ by the elves. 

\- **When** Glórvinþíl woke up, and learned of his kidnapping, as well as that said kidnapping was a Hobbit's way of marriage proposal, laughed his head off and married her. 

\- **This** was the Origin of the Tûk. The Tûk's are _very_ proud of their ancestor, and are, funnily enough, a family of part-time _Burglars_ as a result.} 

\- **Most** of the Race of Men eventually forget this, with the exception of the Rangers of Arnor, who definitely remember—if only because, as a part of the Alliance between the Hobbits and the Arthédain (sp?), the Rangers go to the Shire for training in building their poison immunity. 

\- **This** includes the folk of 'Bree' - which is actually the official Arnorian Nest named Ańn-Dû'trí - where Rangers are born, raised and trained, and later, retired. The Hobbits that live in Bree are also Rangers, though they mainly work as either Informants, Scouts, Healers, or run apothecaries. Including, of course, being farmers and thus the main providers of the Breefolk. 

\- **Hobbit** Bounders are actually Hobbits that did Ranger training in 'secret' with the _actual_ Hobbit/Man Rangers, so that they could defend the Shire should Bree be compromised. Hobbit Bounders are separated into 4 specialized Groups, though only 3 are officially acknowledged: The Guardsmen, the Sharpfists, the B-Force and the Redhands. 

\- **The** Guardsmen's duties are obvious; they watch and Guard the Shire Borders as well as deal with common problems in the Shire - making them the most widespread Group, consisting of over 700 members. Any members who deal with the common situations are called Shiriffs; meaning that they are basically the Police Force of the Shire. 

\- **The** Sharpfists are half of the main fighters of the Groups; the warriors, basically. The Group has over 800 members. Sharpfists use long distance weapons: archery/crossbows, slingshots/slings, boomerangs, chakrams, and throwing axes/knives. They even use catapults, though those are _very_ rarely required. They are rarely called to arms, however. They always keep up with their training though. 

\- **The** B-Force title was originally Brutes, due to their way of fighting. They fight with mainly brute force and blunt weapons, which caused some Hobbits to start calling them the Blunt Forces; eventually they were just called the B-Force. The B-Force is more Dwarrow-like in battle - using warhammers and war-axes and clubs and swords and shields. B-Force has over 100 members. The Groups together consist of roughly 1000 soldiers. 

\- **The** Redhands are the darkest of the group, and are the ones that get down and dirty; they annihilate anyone that's a threat - either presently or futuristically - through any means necessary, and erase any evidence of their deeds. From poisoning to beheading to gutting; they are the cutthroat members that are willing to forsake their own morals and innocence, their code of honour and turn their Hands Red—they _Get_ **_Shit_ ** **_Done_ **. Their work earned them the name Red Hands; they only have 118 members, as they are Assassins - and are mostly made up of 1 family, as few Hobbits can stomach that kind of work. The Redhands are an unofficial group due to an understanding - Plausible Deniability. 

\- **All** Bounders receive the same weapons training - meaning they all know how to use the weapons in the above paragraphs, even if they better skills with certain ones over others - and, when the training is complete, they all swear a Blöð Eídr - Blood Oath - to protect the Shire.] 

P.S. - This doesn't have to include the extended version in your stories - this could be as cracky as you want it, or as serious as you want it. You can make this as a One-Shot, or as an Epic Story. You can write this idea over the course of several stories in a multi-part series. Go RIGHT on ahead my fellow Tolkieneers.

P.P.S. - The Redhands consist of mainly Sackville-Bagginses, jsyk. 

_____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah. I knew I forgot something. Would you all mind letting me know how I'm doing so far, please? I'd appreciate it. Thank you.


End file.
